Published to EMIS students for Valentine's day 2018
Dear students,
As Valentine's Day is approaching and along with it the prom, I see more and more students who are cheerful and excited, but at the exact same time other students who suffer from anxiety and disappointment. Hence, I decided to share with you a few thoughts about the concept behind the "day of love".
I believe that among the things which are highly marketed to us (mostly by the media, but not only), love is a leading concept. We are surrounded by messages about love which frame the meaning of it for us. So, it is extremely difficult for me to tell you what I think love is, but I can try to share with you three thoughts of mine about what love is not, after my 30 years or so of observations.
Love is not liner. Although many times love and relationships seem to have a direct course of progress, starting from young and small and from there develop and strengthen along the way, I witness love in many courses and curves. Love can come late and stay strong or come early and vanish. It can surprise you, disappear and sometimes find you again after many years. It has it's ups and downs. I personally know people who are holding a warm and passionate relationship for decades, but also people who were alone for many years and suddenly found love and formed a relationship so strong and beautiful which makes everyone around them wish they were in their shoes. Sometimes love is about waiting, sometimes it is about holding on and sometimes it is about letting go.
In the same note, love does not have a date. It is not about Valentine's Day, or midnight of New Year's Eve, nor is it about anniversaries or special events. Although beneficial for Hollywood and candy stores, it is hardly helpful to date the time when you are supposed to be in-love or in a relationship. Different people have different pace.
Love is also not a contest. We are in a time of measurements and quantifications which make our most intimate affairs depended on public feedback. Instead of looking in, many people are rushing to compare and share "love outcomes" and "relationship's results". But, to be honest, there are no required bases, starting points or amounts which can be truly compared. Although love can be celebrated, it is mostly understood only within the relationship and not through posts, gossip or public photos. Love is not a competition; it is personal and very delicate.
I hope you will all enjoy the prom, regardless of your status. Enjoy your friendship, your heartbreak, your relationship and love. Enjoy being with others and with yourselves. In the end it is just another opportunity to have fun.
Thank you,
Gili